Off the Bench: How Film & Friendship Brought Me to BLOCK
By Kelly Murray
There’s an iconic scene in the film Good Will Hunting, where psychiatrist Sean Maguire, played by the late Robin Williams, meets his patient Will Hunting, played by Matt Damon, on a bench on a sunny day in Boston. In this pivotal scene, Sean imparts some real world wisdom to the self-assured and headstrong Will who assumed he could understand Sean - and the depth of Sean’s own personal demons - after studying a painting in his office.
In a brilliant performance peaked by Williams’ fatherly yet familiar lilt, Sean lays into Will, setting him straight to the realities of life’s hardships and turning his observations on their head. He leaves him with this: “I can’t learn anything from you I can’t read in some fucking book. Unless you wanna talk about you, who you are. And I’m fascinated. I’m in. But you don’t wanna do that, do you, sport? You’re terrified of what you might say.”
Sean’s insight reveals Will’s reluctance to go deeper into his inner self, and his words are an admonition to Will that he must go out into the world and learn from real life experience rather than relying on verified knowledge or textbooks, which the character had done up to this point in the film. In the end, Will follows Sean’s advice. And much like Will’s journey toward self-actualization, my journey to Block started with a conversation...between two peers...on a bench.
While the words we exchanged were not as profound (nor as admonishing) as Sean’s, the park bench scene from Good Will Hunting, with its themes of self-identity, reminds me of a cold autumn day when Carrie Brennan asked me to meet for coffee. I had briefly met Carrie the month before at the premiere of a film I had written and directed called The Astronomer, a short fantasy film that explores themes of self-reliance and what happens when you follow your own path. She asked to meet to discuss filmmaking and my creative process. We wound up chatting on a bench outside of Fenn’s Coffee in her hometown, and my current place of residence, West Chester, Pennsylvania.
Despite having only met previously for a few minutes at the premiere, Carrie and I immediately connected. Her unabashed enthusiasm for storytelling was infectious, and she had a lot of questions. I have to admit, as a new filmmaker, it was humbling and exhilarating to talk with someone who was so impressed with my work. Deep down what really floored me was that a script I had conceived actually connected with a total stranger...and inspired her to create her own film.
During our conversation on the bench, something happened that I will never forget: Carrie came out to me. By that point, our conversation had covered everything from making movies to pursuing dreams to balancing artistic pursuits with life’s every day challenges. I remember Carrie bringing up her friends and her concerns that they wouldn’t support her or understand her, and I wasn’t sure why. I thought maybe she meant that they wouldn’t support her pursuing filmmaking. Then, she told me she was gay.
As someone who has always been supportive of and had many amazing friends in the LGBTQ community, I quickly realized the gravity of what she had just shared. She then told me that I was the third person she had come out to. Ever. To this day, I’m honored that she felt comfortable enough to share that part of herself with me -- someone she barely knew, but had connected with through film. We continued chatting, eventually wrapped up our conversation, exchanged contact info, and parted ways.
Three years later, Carrie reached out to me again. This time, she was making her own film -- a script she had written and was going to act in, and she asked if I would be a part of the crew. The bubbly young woman who first introduced herself at The Astronomer premiere was well...still bubbly, but this time her voice was anchored with ambition and a greater sense of self. The script was about a young woman coming to terms with being gay, and a pesky cinder block sidekick that she just couldn’t seem to make disappear. The film was called Block. I, of course, said yes.
Carrie asked me to be Assistant Director, which is the crew member responsible for managing the daily logistics and scheduling of the production. Basically, the AD has to maintain order on set and make sure that the cast and crew completes their days. The role is crucial to the success of a production, and although I had never actually been an AD before - I had done production coordination and directing before, but AD’ing is on another level - I went for it. I studied up on the position and fully committed. And somehow, despite all the challenges that inevitably came our way - like unexpected inclement weather and almost losing a location hours before shooting a scene - we made all of our days.
Looking back, the six days that we worked on Block were some of the best days I’ve ever experienced in production. It’s hard to put into words how well the crew worked together and how much fun we had, but hopefully our passion will shine through on screen. The group of filmmakers that came together were so committed to telling the story of Kit and her cinder block, moreso, the coming out story behind it, that every day was enjoyable.
As it turned out, Carrie chose to film the project in West Chester. On our last day, the final scenes included a frat party and a coffee shop scene. The location? A small coffee shop in town called Fenn’s Coffee. When we wrapped, the cast and crew gathered on the sidewalk to celebrate the completion of the shoot. After a twelve hour day, we hugged and cried and embraced each other as the sun set. And in front of the coffee shop, unchanged by time or weather, was the bench.
Looking over and seeing the bench on our final day of filming was so meaningful. (We didn’t even realize we would wrap the film at Fenn’s during the scheduling process, it just ended up that way.) For me, it brought the experience of Block full circle. It reminded me that we are all connected and that the unexpected experiences in our lives can be catalysts for our own personal journeys -- if we are willing to recognize them. When I wrote the script for The Astronomer, I never thought it would have resonated so much with Carrie that she felt like she could reach out - and ultimately come out - to me on that bench on that cold autumn day, or that the conversation we had would set in motion a friendship that would lead to a filmmaking collaboration.
And, while Will Hunting was very reluctant to look inward and figure out and accept who he really was, Block’s Kit O’Brien does it with a fervor that’s authentic and messy and real. That’s the beauty behind the story in Block. Carrie’s film is a poignant, funny, and sincere reflection of self-acceptance that can resonate with anyone, and I’m so grateful that I got to be a part of it! After all, we all have blocks in our lives that weigh us down, and working through them can take shape in many different forms. Sometimes, all it takes is a conversation with a friend on a bench to help break through.
Kelly & Carrie embrace on the bench after filming the final scene in BLOCK